This song really ministered to me today. I heard it many times on the radio. It seems as though sometimes this is the way God talks to me the most. So please bear with me as I share the words to this great song by Casting Crowns and see what you get out of it. If you want to leave a comment, I would love to know if you would like to share, what the words say to you.

Praise You in This Storm
by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

I just need to remember that His way is not our way and that even through the storms in our lives, God sees the hurt and hurts with us. A card that was sent to me by my sister really helped also. It said that God is catching all our tears and turning them to pearls. He will make something beautiful out of something so ugly as death. How this is is a mystery to me but I do know that in this storm right now, God is teaching me a lot about Him and myself. And I will praise Him in this storm...

I am blessed with beautiful boys...

Count my blessings.

I knew you even in your mother's womb

Tuesday was rough... I went to the doctor early because of some issues and found out that we lost the baby. These last couple days have been a blur. Stephen is such a precious angel. This is how our conversation went:

"Stephen, you know how Mommy had a baby growing in her tummy?"

"Yes, mom."

"Well, the baby didn't work."

"So is the baby at the hospital, because it isn't with you?"

"No honey, the baby is in heaven with Jesus and your sister Sarah."

"So now I have two sisters in Heaven?"

"Yes, Sweetie."

"ok."

Then later that evening he was at a friend's house and talked with her. Her mom said she came over and said Stephen told her a sad secret. This is how that one went:

"Mom Stephen told me a secret that is really sad."

"What was it?"

"He said that his baby sister died and went to heaven today. Isn't that sad, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's very sad."

My husband is amazing. He brought me home flowers and whispered, "I wish I was there with you today. I'm sorry." Then he hugged me. This ministered to me more than I can tell~ I whispered back through tears "I need your strength." And he gave it to me. He just held me until I was ready to let go. I am blessed with a good man as my husband.

I am also blessed with many good friends. Thank you for your support. I love all of you.

So this is what I learned so far from this experience. Stephen wants to have a baby sister. I don't want to tell him too early again to risk his precious heart. I believe all things happen for a reason. God will not put us through trials we cannot handle. In the midst of grief, God's glory will shine through. God is always in control. It is ok to grieve and be sad but not ok to fear or worry. I do not want to live in or with fear. My human nature will be to fear but I will work hard not to let it bring me down. It says in 1 John that there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear involves torment. As I believe that life is from conception, we will morn the loss of our baby but look forward to the day our family will be blessed again. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are the called according to His purpose." This is the verse that I am clinging to today. I will be looking for the Lord to work this together for good. I love my precious boys and am glad that we were blessed with them.

Happy Mother's Day!

So this Mother's Day was super special. Earlier in the week we found out we are expecting another gift from God! New baby Steyaert is due January 1, 2011. I have my first ultrasound appointment later this week for a more accurate due date. Peter didn't believe the first test because he said that the line was too faint and that all tests would show a little line so I went and got one of the digital ones so there would be no debating the issue...

Stephen and Scottie made Mommy cards, Daddy helped cook for the Mother's Day luncheon at church where we had salad, salmon, marinated chicken, potato salad, hot dogs for the kids, and yummy strawberry shortcake for dessert. Unfortunately, I was feeling pretty ill that morning so I really didn't get to enjoy the food as much as I wanted to. Later that day, Peter took Stephen to the driving range for some bonding time and I took Scottie to the park to run off some steam. It was sweet time since Scott and I don't get much alone time together other than when he is sleeping. It is neat to see him come into his own personality.

The bigger boys returned home a little later with a beautiful boquet of flowers (which was pink for girls according to Stephen) and a nice cake. It was all in all a good day! I love my family!

Loving the Spring

Happy birthday, Granddaddy!!

We celebrated Dad's birthday with him by going to a sea food restaurant in Woodstock, then went back to the house and had some carrot cake and opened some gifts.

Enjoy some fun pics of the Spring!!

Super fun Summer pre~curser!

We are having a blast today. It is hot outside and we have new neighbors from England! They have 3 kids and while Scottie napped today, Stephen and I went out and joined in their water gun battle! Stephen did much better this day than last year. If he was hit he would cry. This year he was in there squirting away and taking it like a man... My little boy is growing up!! I look forward to many more rageing water fights and getting to know the new family better. Enjoy some pics of the last month!!

trip to Korea

Korea was amazing. I had such an eye opening experience. I left a country that takes healthcare for granted, trees and parks for granted, and sidewalks and streets for granted. I landed a day ahead of "my" time in a place that was full of people, a city that seems to never sleep and is built up, up, up! It was a trip of a lifetime!

I spent most of my time getting to know my Nephew and trying my best to help out my sister since she and her husband really hadn't slept well since they brought home this bundle of love. I tried to take as many night shifts as I could so they could recharge their batteries for the time I was not there before Mom was able to make the trip. All I have to say is that Marc stole my

heart the minute I saw him! Other than being so LITTLE, he was an angel. He made the cutest sounds, sweet smiles (even though he didn't know he was doing that) and has his parents wrapped around his little fingers. It was great to be the first to go and see Marc, Steph and Jarrod, as a new family. Parenthood sure fits them like a glove and it was great to be able to answer some of their questions when something arose.

I was able to go out and see some of Korea with both Steph and Jarrod just at different times.

Because they have this yellow sand, and it is against custom to bring out little babies before 100 days (and Marc's lungs were still so young), they took turns hanging out with Marc and the other would show me around to different sites around Seoul. The first part of my trip was taken with Jarrod as he picked me up from the airport. It was about an hour bus ride to the drop off point in which time Jarrod pointed out some of the different parts of the city. Other events I was able to do with Jarrod was to go to the electronics market, a place where anything tech that you want

would be sold, ride his motorcycle around the city (which was really crazy when he would drive in between cars to the front of the lines at stop lights or drive on sidewalks because this is how they do it there), see where they went to church, and Jarrod took me to his old neighborhood and showed me around there where I ate a meal that was crazy and great! One of the best things we were able to do though was go up to Seoul tower which is in the middle of the city on a mountain and look over the whole area. It was amazing to be able to see as far as your eye could and not see the end of the city.

With Steph I was able to take the bus, cabs and subway system as these are her modes of transportation. The subway is cool because every station is done in a different theme. We went to some shops for souvenirs, ate a great lunch of manuto and dumplings, and went to the

changing of the Guard ceremony at one of the Palaces in the city. It was definitely on my highlight list! The architecture and finesse of the buildings was amazing and the ceremony was really cool. It surprised me to see that they still wore the same clothes as back in the day and some of the instruments used were really neat. I think a conch shell was one of them. Steph took me to her and Jarrod's school where we watched Jarrod play some basketball, showed me around her classroom and nurse's station, and introduced me to some of her colleagues. YISS, Younson International School of Seoul, is a beautiful campus with lots of benefits. I was also able to go out another night with Steph where we headed to Itaewon, the global village inside

Seoul. We ate at a great Korean BBQ restaurant and did some more shopping. I found these really cool ties, they zip on! Stephen will love them when he is older! It was a great time with my Sister. I was so glad to be able to come for the visit so I could have some memories in this other place with my sister and be able to live it with her even if it was for only a short time.

Thanks Steph and Jarrod for all the fond memories and great times that we had while I was there. I can't wait to see you again and play some more Bananagrams and have a rematch at Wii Resort 3 point contest! Practice up, cause you know I will bring my A game!

More from Korea to come! If you want to see more photos, look at my facebook page.

Talks in the garden

We were in the garden getting it prepared for planting this morning. Stephen and I were talking and then he kept going. It kinda went like this, "Mom, why are we doing this?" "to prepare the soil Stephen." Ok. "Mom, what are we preparing for?" "to plant the garden Stephen." MOM, Scottie is digging in the garden. Scottie NO!" Its ok Stephen, thats what we are doing too!" Mom, is it raining? (the sky is blue) "No Stephen its not." Well I just felt a drop..." "Its not raining Stephen. There are no clouds in the sky." " Why not?" .... Ok Stephen, its time for some quiet." "Ok Mom." 1 minute passes by. "Mom, can we plant the seeds today?" Yes Stephen. Thats why we are turning the soil." "Ok." Mom, is it ok if I keep digging?" "Yes, Stephen." ....and it keeps on going... He has such a servants heart but sometimes I wish he understood the rules for the "Quiet game."