This song really ministered to me today. I heard it many times on the radio. It seems as though sometimes this is the way God talks to me the most. So please bear with me as I share the words to this great song by Casting Crowns and see what you get out of it. If you want to leave a comment, I would love to know if you would like to share, what the words say to you.

Praise You in This Storm
by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

I just need to remember that His way is not our way and that even through the storms in our lives, God sees the hurt and hurts with us. A card that was sent to me by my sister really helped also. It said that God is catching all our tears and turning them to pearls. He will make something beautiful out of something so ugly as death. How this is is a mystery to me but I do know that in this storm right now, God is teaching me a lot about Him and myself. And I will praise Him in this storm...

I am blessed with beautiful boys...

Count my blessings.

I knew you even in your mother's womb

Tuesday was rough... I went to the doctor early because of some issues and found out that we lost the baby. These last couple days have been a blur. Stephen is such a precious angel. This is how our conversation went:

"Stephen, you know how Mommy had a baby growing in her tummy?"

"Yes, mom."

"Well, the baby didn't work."

"So is the baby at the hospital, because it isn't with you?"

"No honey, the baby is in heaven with Jesus and your sister Sarah."

"So now I have two sisters in Heaven?"

"Yes, Sweetie."

"ok."

Then later that evening he was at a friend's house and talked with her. Her mom said she came over and said Stephen told her a sad secret. This is how that one went:

"Mom Stephen told me a secret that is really sad."

"What was it?"

"He said that his baby sister died and went to heaven today. Isn't that sad, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's very sad."

My husband is amazing. He brought me home flowers and whispered, "I wish I was there with you today. I'm sorry." Then he hugged me. This ministered to me more than I can tell~ I whispered back through tears "I need your strength." And he gave it to me. He just held me until I was ready to let go. I am blessed with a good man as my husband.

I am also blessed with many good friends. Thank you for your support. I love all of you.

So this is what I learned so far from this experience. Stephen wants to have a baby sister. I don't want to tell him too early again to risk his precious heart. I believe all things happen for a reason. God will not put us through trials we cannot handle. In the midst of grief, God's glory will shine through. God is always in control. It is ok to grieve and be sad but not ok to fear or worry. I do not want to live in or with fear. My human nature will be to fear but I will work hard not to let it bring me down. It says in 1 John that there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear because fear involves torment. As I believe that life is from conception, we will morn the loss of our baby but look forward to the day our family will be blessed again. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and are the called according to His purpose." This is the verse that I am clinging to today. I will be looking for the Lord to work this together for good. I love my precious boys and am glad that we were blessed with them.

Happy Mother's Day!

So this Mother's Day was super special. Earlier in the week we found out we are expecting another gift from God! New baby Steyaert is due January 1, 2011. I have my first ultrasound appointment later this week for a more accurate due date. Peter didn't believe the first test because he said that the line was too faint and that all tests would show a little line so I went and got one of the digital ones so there would be no debating the issue...

Stephen and Scottie made Mommy cards, Daddy helped cook for the Mother's Day luncheon at church where we had salad, salmon, marinated chicken, potato salad, hot dogs for the kids, and yummy strawberry shortcake for dessert. Unfortunately, I was feeling pretty ill that morning so I really didn't get to enjoy the food as much as I wanted to. Later that day, Peter took Stephen to the driving range for some bonding time and I took Scottie to the park to run off some steam. It was sweet time since Scott and I don't get much alone time together other than when he is sleeping. It is neat to see him come into his own personality.

The bigger boys returned home a little later with a beautiful boquet of flowers (which was pink for girls according to Stephen) and a nice cake. It was all in all a good day! I love my family!

Loving the Spring

Happy birthday, Granddaddy!!

We celebrated Dad's birthday with him by going to a sea food restaurant in Woodstock, then went back to the house and had some carrot cake and opened some gifts.

Enjoy some fun pics of the Spring!!